Earlier this month I was nominated to speak at the ASK Childhood Cancer Foundation’s “Jangling on the James” fundraising event. The designated topic? A parent’s perspective of how ASK impacts families coping with their child’s cancer diagnosis. In under five minutes. To a target audience of potential supporters and donors. Without having an emotional breakdown in front of hundreds of people. (OK, so that last directive was self-imposed, but it certainly seemed appropriate and necessary to successfully carrying out the appointed mission.)

Could I effectively yet succinctly script -let alone deliver- a summation of their incalculable contributions to our family?

The simple answer is “no”. But I was asked to dedicate an additional 299 seconds to the subject. And so, to the best of my abilities, I took what has been so graciously and generously given to us during our more than 200 hours in the clinic and 30 days in the hospital thus far, and with broad strokes attempted to paint a picture of the life- and sanity-sustaining ways in which ASK mitigates the challenges we face as we fight alongside our children.

It is now at the request of individuals in attendance, as well as others unable to join us that night, that I share those words with you here.

“Good evening. Welcome and thank you to each and every one of you for your presence here this evening, for your support of the ASK Childhood Cancer Foundation, and for the opportunity to share what ASK has meant to our family over these past few months.

I first heard of ASK on a beautiful late March morning in 2001. Having just completed the Monument Avenue 10K, I was wandering through the food tents and vendor tables in Monroe Park when a T-shirt with a bright sunny yellow handprint and the acronym 'ASK' caught my eye. I simply had to have one. Only problem was, both because I was a student and because I was in running attire devoid of pockets, I didn’t have a dime on me. Undaunted, I approached a volunteer anyway and asked if I could order a shirt or make some other arrangement. Without hesitation, this young man said, 'Take it. I trust you to find us and pay later. After all, who’s going to take money from a child with cancer?'

Well, I made good on my purchase within the week. And for the past decade and a half, when cooler weather arrives and it’s time to pull out the long-sleeves, I have put on that beloved T-shirt. From time to time when running errands around town, people would notice the emblem and I would get the cheeky question 'what am I supposed to ASK?' And I would tell them it stood for Assistance, Support and Kindness for children with cancer. And then we would move on.

That T-shirt is now well worn, a bit threadbare in places, and perfectly softened by frequent laundering. It is the apparel equivalent of comfort food.

Fast forward to a beautiful late March morning in 2014. It is our first outpatient visit to the pediatric hematology/oncology clinic at MCV. We are a mere week into our 4 year-old son’s cancer diagnosis. We are numb. Exhausted. Completely overwhelmed. Life as we once knew it is gone: absolutely everything has changed. We make our way downtown - navigate the traffic, parking and elevators (none of which is a small feat!). And after following the maze thru the Ambulatory Care Clinics around to Nelson Clinic 2nd floor, we find the clinic door tucked away in a little corner pocket of space. And there it is: at the entrance. That outstretched hand that had caught my eye all those years ago. And those three letters.

The day after that visit, I shared with our family and friends - who will hopefully and fortunately never know first hand - what it’s like to push through the doors of a pediatric cancer center. I wrote:

Callen’s clinic is supported by ASK, and it’s very sick kid/anguished parent friendly. From the luminous environment to the numerous distractions – books, toys, games, computers, snacks, drinks – from front to back, it is absolutely oozing with (sterile) love for patients and their families.

But as we quickly learned, the role of ASK goes far beyond providing a physical place in which our son – and the sons and daughters of nearly 1000 families across Virginia - receives his treatment. In fact, my husband and I have both commented on what a misnomer ASK is. Because this organization would be more aptly named ACT. Or DO. GIVE. PREPARE. PROVIDE. FORTIFY. LOVE. HELP. SAVE. And the irony of their name is that they do all of these things – and more – without ever asking.

At a time in our life when nothing was recognizable, when life was spinning out of our control and we couldn’t put one unsteady foot in front of the other - when nothing was making sense but we couldn’t even find the words to form the questions - ASK was there with answers. They gently began putting resources at our fingertips – things and people and places that we didn’t even yet know we needed. That we never knew existed. That we wish didn’t have to exist. Being embraced by ASK and all of its offerings was one of the early saving graces of this new life we were suddenly leading. ASK provided a safe place to land when we were in the free-fall of our lives. And they cushioned the blow of pediatric cancer not only for our son, but for our entire family. They are helping us find moments of normalcy and laughter and lightheartedness in even the darkest corners. They are optimizing the life that we are trying to lead in the midst of daily fear and anxiety and uncertainty. They ensure that we are never on our own. Because surviving cancer or a serious blood disorder, coming out the other side with our families and faculties intact, is something that no one can do alone. And because of ASK, and the people like you here tonight who choose to support it – to support US – nobody has to.

Fall is here again. It’s time to pull out the long sleeved Tees. Now, when people ask me what ASK stands for, my answer will no longer be quite so simple (so people in line with me at Kroger best beware!). Because I have learned that ASK isn’t an organization that just waits to comfort you at your finish line – whenever that may be, and whatever that may look like. Instead they will be with us - and with every family whose life is upended by childhood cancer - every step of the way. With their hands outstretched.

Thank you.”

**If you would like to donate to ASK during your holiday (or everyday) online shopping, simply go to www.amazonsmile.com and select ASK to be your designated charity. A portion of every purchase made at AmazonSmile is donated back to the pediatric hematology / oncology clinic at no extra expense to you, and at tremendous benefit to the children of Virginia.